51 Rules for Life

A number of years ago, I started curating a list of “life rules” which I found important. I titled it “How to Win at Life.” It started off as just a note on my phone, but it has grown into something more.

I am not pretending to be a perfect person and I can’t say that I follow each of these rules 100% of the time, but these rules have come to remind me what it is that I value. I truly believe that if these rules were followed by more people, the world would be a more kind and understanding place. So, without further ado, and in no particular order, the list:

1. Dress to impress. Always leave the house looking prepared to meet someone. Maybe an old friend, or maybe a new partner. You never know who you’ll run into.
2. Create and maintain situational kits. A bag for work, a bag for the gym, etc. Don’t rely on remembering to transfer items between kits, like phone chargers — just buy one for your car and your work and by your bed. This is one less thing you have to worry about.
3. Organize and back up your data. All your important files should be organized in your Documents folder, not the desktop. Pay for an automatic cloud-based backup service (like Google Drive or Apple iCloud). It’s relatively inexpensive, simple, and automatic — and worth every cent for when your hard drive fails (which is inevitable).
4. Try new things often. Things are only new once — try all things to get new favorites.
5. Pay your bills on time. Always. Having bad credit is something which will really hurt you later. Use credit cards as debit cards, if you don’t know what that means, don’t get a credit card.
6. Save money automatically. Automatically deposit at least 10% of your paycheck into a savings account which you cannot easily withdraw from. After a while, you won’t even notice the money is gone. You know you won’t save money on your own, so you need to make it automatic. For most jobs, this is as simple as filling out a Direct Deposit form.
7. Automatically deposit money into your 401(k), too. If your company matches your contribution, put in that much. If you don’t, you’re leaving their free money on the table. Nobody has pensions anymore, so your retirement is up to you. Unless you want to work until you die, you better start saving now.
8. Treat every day at work as a job interview. That’s how your boss sees it.
9. Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Appearances matter more than they should — but it’s just a truth — don’t let anyone say you’ll be judged on performance alone.
10. That being said, try not to judge others based on appearance. Less-fortunate-looking people have more to prove and can be some of the most dedicated and loyal friends and employees.
11. Understand that you can’t understand everyone’s life. Not everyone is like you. They’ve had different experiences and have different preferences and priorities. They have different values. Saying, “I just don’t understand how someone could do ___” is ignorant. Obviously, you don’t understand because you can’t put yourself in their shoes and haven’t lived their life. Their choices are what they think is best for them in their situation. My point: live your life and let others do the same. It’ll make you happier and it’ll make the world a better place.
12. Stop eating fast food. It’s awful for you and it’s expensive. It’s not that hard to make your own meals, it just takes a little planning. That’s not too hard when you consider it’ll save your life and make you feel healthier.
13. Exercise. For looks, endurance, and general health.
14. Spelling and grammar matter. Don’t be an idiot. People who matter, notice.
15. Get a dog. They’re called “man’s best friend” for a reason. Who doesn’t want a best friend?
16. If you’re tired, sleep — even if you had a full night of sleep. Your body is tired for a reason. When you’re thirsty, you drink — fighting thirst is as dumb as fighting sleep. Listen to your body.
17. Don’t lie. It makes you feel bad, it makes others not trust you, and you probably aren’t very convincing. Remembering your lie is harder than remembering the truth; liars get caught. People will respect you for telling the truth, even if it’s not what they want to hear.
18. Compliment people sincerely. You can probably remember when someone gave you a random complement. It feels good to complement and to be complemented. “Nice shoes” or “I like your new haircut. It looks really good” go a long way when it is sincere.
19. Give a huge tip to a waiter or other service member every once in a while. It’s a great present to yourself to leave them stunned with a $100 tip for a $15 meal. Not only will you show your generosity and make their day, but you’ve also made yourself feel like a freaking badass.
20. Use your phone’s calendar. Put everything on it. You’re bound to forget something if you don’t.
21. Wear sunscreen. Do you want wrinkles? Skin cancer? Sun burn? No. Wear sunscreen, every day, even if it’s not sunny. Reapply often. It’s about UV rays, which can even come through clouds. Oh, and listen to this song by Baz Luhrmann.
22. Put down your phone when someone is speaking to you. It’s rude, obviously, but you also aren’t really processing what they’re saying. You don’t multitask as well as you think you can.
23. Minimize multitasking. Multitasking just means you’re doing multiple things really slowly and poorly. Do one thing well and with efficiency, then move on to something else.
24. Listen to NPR. Educate yourself about the world and international current events. These things really matter.
25. Listen to Radiolab. If you don’t know what that is, immediately Google it. Seriously, go do that now — even if you don’t come back to read the rest of this list.
26. Don’t curse in everyday language. I have trouble with this one, but I’m working on it. A curse word should be used to emphasize something extraordinary. If you’re known as a person who never curses and then you bust out a curse — it stands out.
27. Be curious. Question things. Discover things. Research things.
28. Don’t cheat. Not on tests, not on relationships. If you are going to cheat in a relationship, you should just end the relationship honorably; you’ll feel better about yourself, and you won’t feel guilty for hurting and lying to someone else.
29. Be honest with yourself. Think about why you do the things you do. If you want to change, this is the first step.
30. Don’t smoke cigarettes. It makes you stink and wastes your money. Oh, and it will kill you.
31. Prepare for emergencies. Don’t go build an underground bunker or anything — but get batteries and flashlights. Make an emergency kit in case of a flood, power outage, or zombies. Store some canned food and a few gallons of water. Learn about first aid and CPR. Mentally prepare for a hostage situation; know where the exits are, what you could use for a quick weapon, stuff like that.
32. Fill up your gas tank when it’s half empty. You know you’ll need gas eventually and you know you won’t remember to do it before work in the morning. What if you suddenly needed to rush to the hospital or to a friend’s house? Having to stop to fill up would be the worst.
33. Change your oil regularly. You pay thousands of dollars for a vehicle and have pretty much no maintenance on it except to change the oil a few times a year. Yeah, your car will keep running on old oil for a long time, but don’t you want your vehicle to last and be super efficient?
34. If you’re near a charger, charge your phone. You never know when you’ll be stranded somewhere and need a few extra minutes of battery life.
35. Look ahead when you walk — it shows confidence. Don’t look at your feet unless you are walking on unsteady or unfamiliar terrain.
36. Stand up to shake hands. And look them in the eyes.
37. Learn to cook a few meals really well. Steak: get a thick cut of NY strip. Preheat the oven to 450°F. Salt the room-temperature steak on both sides while it preheats. Put it in the oven on a greased cast iron skillet for 4 minutes. Take it out, flip it, put the skillet on the stove on high for 30 seconds, flip it, 30 more seconds. Check to make sure it’s done, it should be medium rare, which is the only acceptable way to eat a steak. (Alternatively, throw it on an outdoor grill.)
38. Cover your food when you microwave. You won’t have to clean it up.
39. Microwave leftovers at 50% power. You’ll have to cook it for a bit longer, but the reduced power retains moisture in the food and makes it taste less like rubber.
40. Eat with metal utensils and regular dish ware versus Styrofoam containers or plastic sporks. Containers are for food storage, not for eating. Both of these tips really make the food taste better.
41. Don’t publicize disagreements with your mate. Some things are meant to remain private. Don’t involve others in places they don’t need to be; it only places them in an awkward situation.
42. Vote. The government is supposed to represent your beliefs. The only way this can happen is if you vote people into office who represent you. Choose wisely.
43. Be friendly with nerds. They’re probably smarter than you, and they will probably be your boss someday. You can learn a lot from them. Also, they could use a friend like you. You’re being a good person while advancing your own self-interests. Win-win.
44. Not everything you think must be verbalized. Write down your thoughts and give it some time. You can throw away a note, but you cannot take back what was said.
45. Get a journal. Write your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Your memory isn’t that good. Plus, it’s therapeutic to go back to see what you were concerned with in the past. “Future you” will laugh at the problems of present you. You might realize you shouldn’t worry so much. And you’ll capture moments you’d have otherwise forgotten.
46. Print some photos. You’ve taken some great pictures, but they just live on your phone. Walgreens and CVS will print your pics for like 30 cents each. You can display them on your wall or desk. They’ll mean more to you if you can display them.
47. Be kind, even in an argument. You will feel better in the end knowing that you were in control of your emotions even if the other person wasn’t.
48. Meditate. There are some free apps you can use if you’re new to it. It helps clear your mind and lets you make better and more wise decisions.
49. Call the people you love. A good phone call or video chat does wonders for your soul (and theirs). If you’re lucky enough to have grandparents, be nice to them, They appreciate it more than you know. They love you irrationally, even when you haven’t done anything to deserve it.
50. Take vacations. We all work too much. See the world. Explore. Take time for yourself — you deserve it.
51. Control your life. Forget the past you want to forget and remember the things you want to remember. You are the author of your own internal history book. Memory is fluid, so take control of it. It’s your life, so make it the best you can.

I know this list does not begin to cover everything in life, but I have attempted to compile some important rules which I believe matter. If you have some rules you’d like to contribute, reach out!